St. John's

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I am….

Dear Friends,

In the gospel reading for this week, Jesus states emphatically, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” It’s part of a series of “I am” statements found only in the Gospel of John: I am the bread of life, …light of the world, …gate of the sheepfold, …good shepherd, …true vine, and finally, …the resurrection. What a rich and descriptive picture these are when read as a whole. 

Last night, during our Wednesday evening Faith formation session on the Historical Jesus we considered the metaphorical nature of these statements that were preserved in scripture by the community in which the Gospel of John originated. Did Jesus really say them? Or were they theological reflections made over the 60-year period after Jesus’ death, which is about the time the majority of biblical scholars believe that the Gospel of John was written. And then, does it really matter? Does something have to be literally true for it to express the essential, most profound and lasting “truth” about the meaning and mystery of life, love, healing and hope?

Unfortunately, some Christians have used Jesus’ statement, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life" to say that belief in Jesus is the only way to know God, but when I consider all nine of the “I am” images, I feel wonder, mystery and hope: Bread, such basic sustenance; Light, a sign of warmth and community; Gate, a liminal space for entry and exit; Good Shepherd, protection and nourishment; Vine, the promise of joy and celebration; Resurrection, energy of new birth and new forms. If Jesus is “the Way, the Truth and the Life,” then we may experience him in all those other forms too. Indeed, he seems to be saying that there are many different forms of experiencing God with us, here and now, on this earth. These “I ams” are not about belief; they are the core of aliveness.

Many years ago, I struggled to answer a retreat exercise which asked us to list “I am …” 20 times on a piece of paper, and then, in 20 minutes, to fill in our answers without using a role or job title. It was hard to think beyond “I am a priest, mother, oldest sister, long distance runner, writer, board member—none of which answered the question. Could I use adjectives? “I am grateful, stressed, hopeful, anxious, loving, etc.” They also seemed to sidestep the question.

In desperation, I wrote, “I am bread for ….” Then I wrote, “I am the backbone of…,” “I am a safe place for…,” and I could feel my energy begin to rise. My own identification with work roles began to dissolve, and I could actually feel my own aliveness wake up, as though some part of me had been asleep for a long time. “I am the way…” Jesus said, and somehow a path to new life began to open. It could be my way forward, too.

In this season of Easter, this season in which we practice resurrection in our own lives, I invite you to take some time to consider how you would complete the sentence beginning with “I am…” It may be a way forward for you, as well.

In Christ,

Amelie+