Dear Friends,

Last week, I came across an article that studied the relationship between happiness and aging. The results were surprising -- evidently, measures of happiness, well-being, and contentment all tend to increase as we age, not decrease as one might expect. As I read this, I initially thought…maybe I’m the exception here! But as I dug more deeply into the study, I began to accept that perhaps the author was on to something.

And this is because the study took into consideration the influence of life circumstances and controlled for things like things like wealth, level of education, and marital status. In other words, the increase in happiness didn’t have anything to do with good fortune. The psychologists who work with the elderly say they simply tend to engage with the adversity they face more comfortably. When we endure hard times over a lifetime, we grow in resilience, and more resilient people have higher rates of life satisfaction.

All of this has been on my mind as I’ve pondered the short passage from Paul’s Second Letter to the Thessalonians that we are given for this Sunday’s readings. Paul is writing to a community who is experiencing persecution and affliction and gives thanks for their ability to keep the faith and grow in love for one another. Despite all they are enduring, they embody resilience.

And yet, absent from this short excerpt are the verses in Paul’s letter that describe the suffering that produces resilience, perhaps because the concept of “redemptive suffering” has so often led to abuse. I, too, am wary of any teaching that implies that God desires human suffering. However, life has taught me to dig for the wisdom in our scriptures behind the harmful interpretations, and I am more inclined to acknowledge the growth that arises from experiences of loss, uncertainty, betrayal, and failure. I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today without having lived through all those things, nor would I be as resilient.

That is not to say that I like this! It runs suspiciously close to the old saw “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But there’s a hard truth about existence here that both social science and Christianity bear out.

It’s also a hopeful truth. Hard times will come, but when we endure them, we grow more resilient. Our increasing happiness is born of that resilience and steadfastness, which Paul marks as worthy of praise. With those gifts we can also become better equipped to act with empathy and compassion, and to fulfill, as Paul would say, “every good resolve and work of faith.”

So the task I leave with you this week is this: Think about one accomplishment in your life that has brought you joy-- it could be something that happened last week or five years ago. Then rewind the tape a bit and see what preceded it. If you’re like me, you’ll find some mixture of challenge, disappointment, confusion, heartbreak, and yes, suffering. You’ll find struggles that stretched and opened your heart in a way that increased your capacity for love and for life.

In Christ,

Amelie