Are you first, last, or both?
Dear Friends:
In the Gospel lesson appointed for this Sunday, Jesus leaves us with a story about the laborers who are hired by a landowner to work in his vineyard, some for the full day, some for part of the day, some for the last hour. All are glad for the work, but when evening comes, they all receive the same pay. The early crews who worked longer hours grumble when they make the comparison, but the landowner is not the least defensive and replies, “are you envious because I am generous? This is the deal in life. “The last will be first, and the first will be last.”
If you are on the top of your game, if you are privileged or powerful, you probably won’t hear this as good news: “the last will be first.” But if you are powerless or are losing power, or if you live without privilege, or if your experience of life is already to be last or less, or if you have lost something significant in life--lost a loved one, lost an ability, lost being attractive, strong, agile, competent, healthy, desirable, then you will hear what Jesus is saying about the last becoming first, not as an unfair or illogical, but as a welcomed invitation. If you know someone who is losing their life because of diminishing health or increasing age, or because of some discrimination or other injustice they have experienced, then hearing Jesus say “whoever loses their life will gain it”--these words of Jesus may be of enormous comfort.
In my own life, the place where I land on this “last and first” spectrum has a lot to do with the way I make comparisons. While my comparisons to others can inspire and motivate me, even generate empathy, they can also drain me of life. If you have ever been in a work situation where you are completely content with your salary until learning that your colleague is making more money than you are for the same level of work, you know what I am talking about.
Ranking yourself with yourself--how you were vs. how you are--or ranking yourself in comparison to someone else may leave you either bitter or better: better than that person, or worse than that person, which will probably not be helpful to either your life or theirs. As one of my wise 12-step friends reminds me, “Identify, don’t compare.” Identify differences and similarities in your own life experience with yourself and in your experience of others, don’t compare. I think that’s mostly true. My qualifier is what you do with a comparison that makes the difference.
Where are you in this Gospel story? When in the day did you show up to work and got the pay, the equal pay? Because, if you think about it, you and I are those laborers, all of them. We are the ones who showed up at the beginning of the day. And we are those who showed up with the day half gone. And we are the ones who have shown up in the last hour. This is our story, all of it. At the end of the day, God’s invitation to us is to say “yes” to life, to the terms of life we’ve been given. The changing terms. Some days they are terrific terms; some days they are tough terms. Whether we are better off or worse off, last or first, we can choose to turn our envy into gratitude for the glimpses of God’s generosity we do receive. Either way, Jesus says, “I will be with you always, until the end of the age.”
In Christ,
Amelie+
