Be Willing
Dear Friends,
Some of you know that one of my favorite ministries at St. John’s is preparing couples for marriage. During our sessions, we explore the fundamentals of a healthy partnership: communication, conflict transformation, family dynamics, stress management, financial stewardship, personality styles, and relationship roles. We also reflect on the vows they will make on their wedding day, as they commit to a lifelong union. Like our baptismal vows, these are covenants made with God’s help and the support of the congregation who witnesses them.
Our lectionary readings for the past few weeks have deepened my reflection on the connection between baptism and marriage. Last week, we heard how Jesus was baptized in the River Jordan as “God’s beloved” with whom God is well pleased. This week, we witness that love revealed as Jesus turns water into wine at the wedding in Cana, his first miracle in the Gospel of John. The first sign of being God’s beloved, it seems, is in choosing to do acts of love.
In his book, The Hungering Dark, Frederick Buechner writes this: “The love that is affirmed at a wedding is not just a condition of the heart but an act of the will, and the promise that love makes is to will the other’s good even at the expense sometimes of its own good—and that is quite a promise.”
The love affirmed in Jesus’ baptism—and in ours—becomes an act of the will as we carry it into our daily lives and allow it to carry us. Just as a wedding couple vows to seek the good of the other, are we not also called to bless and honor each other in all kinds of ordinary, miraculous ways?
After the baptism comes the wedding, and from there, a way of life. We are reminded that we are not solitary beings. We say “we will” to one another and to all of creation:
We will bless and restore what is broken.
We will share what we have.
We will listen, grieve, and rejoice together.
We will look out for each other.
And we will fall more deeply in love with God’s purposes, wed ourselves to God’s justice and mercy, and yoke ourselves to a vision beyond our own. And we’ll do all of this, not out of sentimentality for marriage, but because we long to live lives that are passionate, committed, and courageous.
As we journey through this season of Epiphany—a time of light and revelation—I invite us to be willing. Willing to seek someone else’s good, whatever may come, and hope, with God’s help, to uncover new ways to love.
In Christ,
Amelie+
